it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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