i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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