Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
