I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Randomize
