After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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