I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
