im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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