omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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