And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
