I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
