I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
