You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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