census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
no, he came in my armpit
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
