I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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