I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Randomize
