sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
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I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
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Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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