we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Fuck me I smell like cheese
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
