Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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