yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.