i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
