idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
