It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
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It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
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Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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