you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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