he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
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