I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.