Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(240): View more from Maryland

ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow

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(217): View more from Illinois

I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...

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(571): View more from Virginia

how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......

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(817): View more from Texas

2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.

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19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
Read it at the TFLN blog
(306): View more from Saskatchewan

Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.

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(575): View more from New Mexico

Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.

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(404): View more from Georgia

That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you

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(714): View more from California

Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots

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