Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I like you better when you drink

  (708): View more from Illinois

  I like you better when I drink too

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  (630): I like you better when you drink (708): I like you better when I drink too http://tfl.nu/cvjp
  Replies (15) Good night (4672) Bad night (909)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Nowhere

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  (410): I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life? (301): Nowhere http://tfl.nu/ayl7
  Replies (25) Good night (1057) Bad night (2560)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.

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  (503): I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink. http://tfl.nu/0fnk
  Replies (114) Good night (3877) Bad night (698)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  you would pick up someone in the library

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  (502): you would pick up someone in the library http://tfl.nu/20m6
  Replies (20) Good night (3841) Bad night (576)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?

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  (850): when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children? http://tfl.nu/iefn
  Replies (26) Good night (1318) Bad night (6040)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...

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  (757): sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying... http://tfl.nu/9slh
  Replies (46) Good night (8816) Bad night (765)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?

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  (563): If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from? http://tfl.nu/xs7j
  Replies (7) Good night (1807) Bad night (3217)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.

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  (617): mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore. http://tfl.nu/p0bd
  Replies (32) Good night (2049) Bad night (6561)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.

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  (503): Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook. http://tfl.nu/p6bz
  Replies (15) Good night (8251) Bad night (1289)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.

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  (630): Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad. http://tfl.nu/cvju
  Replies (2) Good night (960) Bad night (1765)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship

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  (607): you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship http://tfl.nu/e8ub
  Replies (5) Good night (2071) Bad night (749)
• Favorite

  (243): View more from

  We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.

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  (243): We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever. http://tfl.nu/yt9v
  Replies (4) Good night (1497) Bad night (643)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.

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  (908): She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass. http://tfl.nu/vr1h
  Replies (12) Good night (2952) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (714): View more from California

  Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.

  (714): View more from California

  Worser: she offered to clean me up

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  (714): Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted. (714): Worser: she offered to clean me up http://tfl.nu/1w2l
  Replies (11) Good night (343) Bad night (863)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.

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  (202): She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home. http://tfl.nu/t0al
  Replies (1) Good night (530) Bad night (753)

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