Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(512): View more from Texas

just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?

(1-512): View more from Texas

pretty standard. you have fun last night?

(512): View more from Texas

apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?

(1-512): View more from Texas

typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.

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(512): just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long? (1-512): pretty standard. you have fun last night? (512): apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean? (1-512): typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat. http://tfl.nu/ntbz

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(630): View more from Illinois

8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.

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(630): 8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs. http://tfl.nu/mvq2

Replies (13) Good night (2644) Bad night (540)
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(630): View more from Illinois

dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!

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(630): dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg! http://tfl.nu/jn1p

Replies (19) Good night (850) Bad night (3394)
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(214): View more from Texas

someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet

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(214): someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet http://tfl.nu/kl5a

Replies (23) Good night (3654) Bad night (581)
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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.

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(610): my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while. http://tfl.nu/6x6m

Replies (14) Good night (676) Bad night (5685)
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(516): View more from New York

my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?

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(516): my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight? http://tfl.nu/m93n

Replies (110) Good night (33599) Bad night (1350)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.

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(203): Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door. http://tfl.nu/li4e

Replies (10) Good night (4674) Bad night (631)
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(740): View more from Ohio

he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.

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(740): he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue. http://tfl.nu/53t4

Replies (18) Good night (2408) Bad night (1949)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number

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(412): He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number http://tfl.nu/oocs

Replies (6) Good night (2936) Bad night (940)
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(313): View more from Michigan

I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.

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(313): I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents. http://tfl.nu/eaix

Replies (6) Good night (3072) Bad night (871)
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(907): View more from Alaska

Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.

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(907): Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman. http://tfl.nu/89v9

Replies (14) Good night (2214) Bad night (696)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

I've fallen from my one moral pedestal

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(865): I've fallen from my one moral pedestal http://tfl.nu/rkax

Replies (3) Good night (538) Bad night (793)
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(916): View more from California

Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.

(1-916): View more from California

Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.

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(916): Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER. (1-916): Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt. http://tfl.nu/8glr

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(408): View more from California

It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.

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(408): It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many. http://tfl.nu/04qg

Replies (3) Good night (483) Bad night (219)
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(703): View more from Virginia

To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car

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(703): To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car http://tfl.nu/yj9e

Replies (0) Good night (207) Bad night (397)

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