Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
