none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
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And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Holy sore nipples Batman
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Drunk is not a location!
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
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