i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
