I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
