Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
