1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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