She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
