I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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