Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
