But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
