but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
