I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
