He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
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