I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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