Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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