walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
