did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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