lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
