I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I want to make a zoo with you.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
