I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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