how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
