I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize