So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
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