omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
