Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
