What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
