Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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