I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
