He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
