my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
