Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
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He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize