we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
