but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
