just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize