open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
