You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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