it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
