Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
