i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Sorry my hands just texted you
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
