Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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