We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Of course I have a pirate flag
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
