I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
