Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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