im drinking this country out of the recession.
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
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