His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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