That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
