More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
